Loss + Gain

I often walk or ride my bike through the cemetery on my way to campus because it is the only thing that separates my apartment complex from campus. As I was walking vigorously to my class the other day I was looking at all the graves and by one I saw an elegant elderly lady dressed warmly for the brisk weather. Her hair was tucked into a hat and she had a beautiful red lipstick on. In her hand she carried a wreath. I watched her as I walked. She set a wreath down by a grave and stood up as she pulled a handkerchief out of her pocket. Her shoulders sulked as she pressed the handkerchief to her eyes.

I passed her and continued to walk. At the beginning of my walk, I was thinking about the billion things I had to do that day and now the only thing I was thinking of was her. I wondered how long it had been since this person (I assume her husband) had passed. I wondered if she always dressed so beautifully before coming to her loved ones grave. I wondered why she had to be alone. I was so sad as I looked at this lady, who is most likely, a wonderful woman mourn. I was sad that she would be spending Christmas without the person she loved the most.

Then as I continued to think about her as I got closer and closer to campus I started to think of all the things she had gained because she had loved this person. She had gained someone who was her confidant, her partner in crime and her best friend. She and this special someone probably had many Christmases together singing carols and sharing gifts. She probably bore a few wonderful children and now has many grandchildren who enrich her life and look to her as a grandmother. She probably grew old with her best friend. They probably went on adventures, faced trials, celebrated victories and laughed a lot together. I began to understand her loss more. Then I began to feel guilty for ever taking for granted any person in my life who has added joy to it.

My mind has been on this experience for most of the week. I am finishing up at Utah State this semester. I will graduate in May with my best friend, Clark. Our lives will change drastically in the next few months. This month I will say so many goodbyes to people I have come to truly love throughout my education. I know my loss is different than the lady I observed. However, I want to note that some of the goodbyes I say will truly feel like a loss. I will leave people I have spent much of my time with and may not ever see some of them again. I also want to note how this loss is making me realize how much I have gained. I have gained some true friends, some great examples and some lifelong memories that I wouldn't trade for anything. I want to mention just a few of these people who have made my life easier and will make me miss this very hard but rewarding experience of graduate school.

- A: Ever since undergrad I have admired your quiet presence. You do not have to be loud or flamboyant to make yourself known and I wish I was more like that. You were such an amazing partner at CETC and taught me a different way to be as a clinician because I often am a loud and flamboyant person. Your quiet yet very educated and confident presence has helped me learn that I don't need to always say what's on my mind to be heard. I love that about you. 

- J: Besides always looking adorable everytime I see you, you have taught me the power of going through trials. I cannot believe you have faced a whole semester away from your husband and how that has probably affected every aspect of your life but you continue to have a bright countenance and cheery disposition and you push through. You have taught me persistence and for that I am forever thankful.  

- J: I really want to thank you for how you always seemed to know what to say to me when I was stressed out or sad. You made me feel like what I was going through at any point in time was important by listening to me in the materials room and caring about what I had to say and giving advice when needed. I don't think you'll know how your example has really affected my experience.

- A: Man... I will miss your contagious laugh and bubbly personality. You always seem to be able to make any negative situation one that we can laugh at. Thank you.

- A: I love how you fall asleep in class sometimes. Most of all, I love how you love the field of speech-pathology. You are such a positive person. I love that I have never heard a bad word about someone else come out of your mouth. I really admire the person you are. Thanks for showing me how to be better.

-A: Thank you for being a constant example of a person who loves the Savior. When I am around you your love for your husband, family and the Savior radiates. I love that about you. Thanks for being a peaceful place during grad school. I'm happy you served a mission for the LDS church because I bet you changed a lot of lives.

- A: Ever since sign language 2 I have loved the person you are. I look to the example of you and your husband so much in how I want to show love to my husband. You are awesome in so many ways!

- J: I absolutely love your sense of humor. I love that you were a ballerina and I love that you are so girly. Thank you for being a breath of fresh air. I feel like every interaction I have had with you has been a positive one because you are so kind and you look at life and laugh about it. I wish I was more like you.

- A: You are the best partner a girl could ask for. You are hilarious and wonderful and make me want to be a better person whenever I talk to you. Thanks for being so awesome to be around and thanks for being funny it really helped me out.

- K: You are superwoman. Thank you for sharing your son with all of us. I will miss that little guy but mostly I will miss seeing your face when you see him after one of us has tended him all day while you were busy. I will miss seeing you hold and cuddle him and stare at him with the loving look that I hope I will give my children someday. I have seen you grow from I graduate student into a mother and you have done it so gracefully. I hope I can follow your example.

- M: I will miss your laugh. SO MUCH. It is the cutest thing ever. And when you whisper things in the back row like "she speaks?" And it makes my whole day.

- L: I will miss how you were willing to help me with clinic ideas, labs, homework etc. You are really good at helping others.

- S: I love how you care about others and I feel so happy for anyone who gets to be part of your life because of how good and caring you really are.

- K: I really think you're the greatest. I love your energy. You make me feel like a slacker a lot and I hope that I can grow up to be a person that has that much energy and enjoys the beauty of the earth and the strength of her body as much as you do. I love how you love your dogs. I think about how you rescued Luna and think that role fits you. You are a rescuer.

-M: I just cry when I think about saying goodbye to you. I don't really think I can put into words just how much I have learned from you and how happy I am that you are my friend. You have taught me a lot about the kind of person I want to become. I love who YOU are. I love your strength. I love your how genuine you are. I love how you look at life. I cannot wait until we have a connecting breezeway between our houses with horses in the back pasture.

- B: I have never met someone I have clicked with so fast. I know that we annoy each other sometimes but mostly I know that you are one of my best friends and throughout all the hard times we've faced these few years we came out still best friends. I'm so happy you came into my life when you did. Thank you for listening and analyzing and studying and chilling and everything else you did with me. I'm forever thankful that we crossed paths.

So... that lady in the cemetery taught me that the reason why we visit the cemetery isn't because we are sad we have lost someone so special but is because we are so happy we have gained a person in our life who has taught us so much, helped us learn true love, showed us affection and given us a reason to be joyful.

Stir Crazy!

So today I have been sick... really sick. Therefore I have been laying in bed working on my thesis and trying to get rest. It's. The. Worst. So I am feeling a little bit stir crazy and decided instead of moaning about it I'm going to document some of the fun stuff that Clark and I did this summer together. We have really done a lot of fun things and that was our goal this summer. We are lucky people.

Our summer began with us moving to North Salt Lake. Clark is an intern for Chevron in the public health and safety/industrial hygiene department. I am an extern (don't ask me what the difference is) for Wasatch Speech and Language Center. Our internships didn't start until the week after we moved so we decided we were going to take a trip to Disneyland. And that is where our fun began this summer. Here's my list of the adventures we have been able to do!

1- DISNEYLAND- This trip was so much fun. We began the trip by visiting my Aunt Kathy and her family in Overton, Nevada. We went to a May Fest where my cousins Ally, Sam and Gary performed. Then we left for Disneyland. We got to our hotel and went to the beach and Ruby's Diner. Day 2 we went to Disneyland. Day 3 was California Adventure. Day 4 was a mix of both and our favorite rides. Day 5 was the beach and the drive back home. We really worked the Fastpasses at the parks and got to go on everything we wanted to multiple times. It was a blast! Clark is so fun to hang out with so of course we had a great time.

We went to the beach when we got to Cali. We ate out on the pier at Ruby's Diner. Best Shakes Ever!

I had an epic fail with my traditional jumping picture and my hair-do.

We told everyone we were on our honeymoon!

Tower of Terror

We LOVED Cars Land! It is a real-life replica of the movie!

We were awesome at getting Fastpasses and working the system!

We were fans of the Monsters, Inc. Ride.

The detail of all the architecture and landscape is amazing!

Toy Story Midway Mania got pretty competitive. 

Clark loved the landscaping of Cars Land. It's like you are in a different world.

Everyone stared at Clark's GIANT ice cream cone that was as big as his head.

My ice cream cone was COVERED in sprinkles. It was a party in my mouth.

I REALLY loved the Ariel ride. Took me back to being 5 and watching Little Mermaid.

We saw an awesome Aladdin show on this stage. It was really fun. Here is an elephant from the show.

Clark's face on Splash Mountain is PRICELESS. We went 4 times. It was so much fun.

Paradise Pier at California Adventure is very magical.

This was the closest we got to a character sighting. We love Minnie.

We book-ended our trip with the beach and went and lounged right before we headed home.

2- An over-nighter in Park City- We used some of our hotel points and stayed in Park City. It consisted of a 10 mile run and eating fish at The Eating Establishment. Loved it.

3- State Track!- I got to go to state track and see my little sis Addie compete and her team take state! Addie did awesome. She got 7th in the long jump and 3rd in the 4x100. It was very fun to hang out with my family and Gran. We went to Krispy Kreme twice... both times it was Gran's idea and it was hilarious. I also gave Addie a garden gnome for a good luck present (long story) but it ended up being in all the pics and the team mascot for the trip. 

4- Bees Game- We got to go watch the Bees play. It was my first baseball game I've watched since I watched JD play. We ate sunflower seeds and the Bees lost they were dominated in the 7th inning. We didn't let the loss get to us. (You know I'm being sarcastic right? I would never care if the Bees lost really.)

5- Horseback Ride- I got Clark a groupon for Christmas and we finally redeemed it. We had an hour horseback ride. It was so beautiful and made us both want to own horses. Well... Clark has always wanted to own horses. 

6- Utah Valley Half Marathon- We ran the half in Provo with our cousins... Robbie and Grant. Clark came in about a minute before me. It is crazy how natural he is at running without having done it much previously. This is my 3rd half and Clark's 2nd.  The pictures are at the start line. We were absolutely freezing. After the marathon we hung out with Robbie, Katie and their sweet baby Lucy. We love hanging with the Jones'. 

The boys.

Rob being tall.

7- REAL game!- We went to our first Real game with Celeste, Brielle and Abbey. They were so much fun to go with. Celeste got way into it and it was very entertaining. It went into overtime (if that is what you call it in soccer?) and REAL won! Clark's favorite was the official REAL song that everyone sings. He sang it the rest of the night.

8- Tim McGraw- My Aunt Patti bought Clark and I tickets to the Tim concert and it was the best! I got to sing "Something Like That" with Tim and the rest of the concert attendees at the top of my lungs. I loved every minute. We watched the concert with McKayla, her friend Sam, Aunt Patti and Kat. Thanks Aunt Patti! We loved it!

9- Downatta with the Cooks- We went to Downatta Hot Springs with my family and enjoyed the slides and pool. We took books and a picnic and just relaxed. We had a great time especially when Brigham had to call me "Princess of Life Diva" (long story again). My family always shows us a fun time.

10- Houston- Clark went to a convention for all the interns for Chevron in Houston, Texas. He really enjoyed it and even had a driver that picked him up and took him everywhere. He is a working man and I really love that he takes advantage of all the opportunities that he can. He's the best. I was happy when he got back and wish I could have joined him.

11- 4th of July- On the 3rd we enjoyed the Logan fireworks with my family. Then on the 4th we went to the Lewiston Parade (which is one of my favorite things) and then we all napped all day and then went back to Lewiston to the dollar theater to watch EPIC. After Epic, Addie, Brig, Clark and I shot off the fireworks that Clark and I got. The 4th is my FAVORITE holiday. 

12- The Backpack- We went on a backpack trip with the Evans' (Scott, Matt, Brielle, Abbey, Cade and Ryan, Dave, Aspen, Bart and Rubie), Jones' (Mike, Rob and Grant) and Humphreys (Ray and Elliott) It was my first time ever doing something like this. We went to Hidden Lake in the Uintah Mountains. It was stunning up there. We hike about 4 miles in and then we fished and had fun at the campfire and enjoying the mountains. We loved it. It was a fun first. 

I caught my first fish! Grandpa Joe would be proud.

Clark is so manly in the mountains... and always. We had matching bandanas. 

13- Red Iguana + Lone Ranger + Rainbows- We got to go on a date with Dave and Aspen while they are home visiting from Oklahoma. Lone Ranger was such a fun movie and we always love us some Mexican food from Red Iguana and a Rainbow (slushie with ice cream mixed in) from Paces. 

14- Pineview Reservoir- Dave and Aspen invited us to go boating with them and their friends at Pineview. The water was extremely pleasant and we got to wakeboard and wake surf. I LOVE BOATING!!! Then we stayed at Aspen's parents and enjoyed their beautiful home in Mountain Green.

15- Raging Waters- We have a Pass of All Passes and have been able to go to Raging Waters multiple times and take Addie and Brig there too! We love the water slides. 

Can you see why I'm just a little stir crazy on this sick day. This will definitely be a summer to remember!!

Importance...

There is something about waking up in your childhood home on a summer morning. I was lucky enough to spend Father's Day in Clifton with my family. Monday morning I woke up and had some work to do for my thesis and I sat there in bed with my laptop, the windows open and the manure lilac air flowing in the window. Manure lilac air does not sound delightful but oh it is. I love the air in Clifton. People complain about the cow smell but that is home to me and I will always love it. So back to the story... I was sitting there in two different worlds. One world where I was the focused graduate student trying to figure out my data for my thesis; and the other where I was a child again waking up early to enjoy the summer morning and be part of my family. They are two completely different worlds and I found myself longing for/reminiscing about my childhood.

The longer I have lived out of my home the more I cherish it and the more I realize what the important things in life are. I realize these important things because I am striving everyday to create home that is like my parents, centered around the important things.

The following is a LIST of what my parents taught me to be of utmost importance:

1- The Savior: Jesus Christ is the center of my childhood home. When you pull up to this home you can see in the front window a picture of the Savior. I've always loved this about my house. I love it because you don't see a TV with the game playing, you see the Savior. I love that so much. I think of my house as a safe haven and who wouldn't feel safe when they pull up to the house and see a picture of the Savior. I hope that my future home can have a window in the front so I can send the message to my children and those coming in that this is a home where we love each other and we love the Savior and we are striving to be like Him. My family fights and quarrels and bickers and murmurs and has contention but at the end of the day when we kneel in prayer no matter what has transpired we (as children) do not doubt who our parents want our home to be centered around. The Savior and the gospel (with all that it entails) are extremely important.

2- Family Time: Cliche as it may sound, family is important. I don't remember a time in my life that I felt like my parents didn't have time for me or weren't there to support me. My parents wanted to be and were involved in EVERY detail of my life from what I needed to eat for breakfast to what extra curricular activity I was involved in, they care and they were there. I have seen my father rush from meetings and work to a basketball game for by sibling because he WANTS to be there. I have seen my mother stay up really really late ironing a dress so it will be ready for Jr. Miss. My dad tucked me throughout most of high school because I WANTED to be tucked in. It made me feel safe and loved. He probably thought I was a little ridiculous at times but he still did it for me. My mom talked to me at 6 am as I walked to the gym every morning my freshman year of college because I WANTED to talk to her. She didn't necessarily have time for that but she did it for me. Being there for your family and caring about their interests and needs is important.

3- Work: My parents insisted that I milk cows in middle school and my brother, I think, started in 5th or 6th grade. They wanted us to be able to know how important work was. They both had to help us get up at 4 o'clock on the mornings we milked. That wouldn't be an easy job as a parent but it was worth it to them because it taught us a valuable lesson. I remember my mom telling me that life is mostly work. It is. I am so glad that my parents taught me when I was young (even though I thought it was a little cruel) how to work. We never had an allowance. We never were given money for doing jobs for our parents because work is part of life. We had to pull our weight in our family and we had to earn money if we wanted extra money. Work teaches discipline and discipline is necessary to achieve goals and earn greater rewards. I'm so happy my parents taught me work is important.

4- Physical and Spiritual Health: I'm glad my parents taught me to be healthy. They never went on any crazy diets or were obsessed with working out but they taught me how to take care of my body and spirit. They taught me how to nourish my body, get enough sleep and create habits of exercise in my life. They also taught me that service, reading my scriptures, prayer, going to church/temple and loving others nourished my spirit. I learned that it is unhealthy to be addicted to ANYTHING and that being healthy is a lifestyle not a fad diet or crazy workout schedule. It is important to take care of the body and spirit our Heavenly Father gave us.

5- Education: My dad is going to be retired military soon and he has gotten a second degree in education and will teach math at Harold B. Lee Middle School. He got this degree while working full-time, being the Bishop of our ward and being a dad. It must have been important to him. He and my mom have always shown and stressed the importance of education and the merit it has in life. A persons quality of life increases when they are educated about the world around them and can contribute knowledge to it. Education is important.

6- Wholesome Recreation: My parents made sure that my life was filled with wholesome recreation. This included: playing a game together, watching March Madness or BYU football, jumping on the trampoline, going on walks, going swimming, creating traditions, going to Bear Lake with extended family, having dance parties while we washed the dishes etc. There was a whole lot of wholesome recreation happening in the home. It is important.

7- Nice: It is nice to be important but it is more important to be nice. I was raised by kind parents. They helped me forgive and be forgiven. It is so important to be nice because everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. Enough said!

I could write more and more but for starters this is what I want to be of utmost importance in my home. I will be forever grateful I was raised by two loving parents who created a home where I always felt comfortable and could strive to become better everyday. Thanks M and D. Love you!

Sorrow

My heart has been hurting lately… hurting because I don’t know how to make sense of tragedy. I probably will never be able to make sense of it. In my human eyes, I cannot understand some of the trials people have to face and some of the decisions people choose to make.

Last Friday, I got a phone call from my Aunt sharing the awful news that an eight-year-old boy in my gran’s community died because of a tragic accident. When she called I immediately thought someone had died in my family. I won’t describe the details of this awful tragedy but I will say that my cousins and aunts and uncles and my grandma and other members of the community in Ashton banded together to save this little boy and he passed away. He was eight-years old and my cousin Hank’s best friend.

My heart breaks for the family who lost this precious eight-year-old boy. I can’t stand thinking about his parents who have to face a closet full of clothes and toys that belonged to their precious son. I cry when I think about the siblings of this little guy that won’t share the laughs and love that I get to experience with my sibling. I hurt when I think of the cousins that won’t find a best friend in him. I simply ache for this family and don’t understand why this had to happen.

Then on Monday as I sat in the materials room on campus preparing for a session my friend and fellow graduate student Katie came in with a somber look on her face and I could tell something was wrong. She told me the news about the Boston Marathon bombings. Immediately, my heart broke. She shared how she knew multiple people running and watching the race that were on her triathlon team at Boston University and then I felt very close to the situation. Someone who I have grown to respect and love was hurting because of the act of a person to create a bomb to hurt other people.

As the reports came in of the deaths that had occurred at the marathon, one of them hit close to home. There was a Boston University graduate student who had died. This could have been our athletic Katie. This graduate student will miss out walking at graduation and celebrating her accomplishment. A family who loves her will miss her desperately. Her journey has been cut short. I do not understand why this had to happen.

So like I said…

My heart hurts.

I know that the families affected will find comfort. I know that they will see their children again. I know that these individuals whose lives got cut short will someday soon feel the joy that they missed out on. I know this because I know we have a Savior and a Heavenly Father who love us and are merciful. Although, I know this it doesn’t help the hurt sometimes. My brother stated so eloquently in a letter sent home that “sorrow is a Christ-like quality”. To be able to feel sorrow for and with others is Christ-like. 

The Mold

I've been told sometimes that I fit the mold. I live in Utah. I got married when I was 19 to a man I knew for a little under a year. I want to be a mom (like really really want to be). I go to church.

I'm just a Utah Mormon Girl.

I've also heard that others think I follow blindly. I never question anything in my church, religion or faith and I just do whatever I'm told whenever I'm told to by church leaders. Well this isn't true.

I hate that anyone would ever judge me in that way. I am not one that cares what people think of me... but this really bothers me. I don't like to be considered part of "a mold" and I never will. I like to be considered a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and I always will.

No matter how much people want to think it... there is not "a mold" in our church or even in the world. There simply isn't. The only way this could happen is if we were all identical and did the same things and made the same choices and behaved in the same ways. Wow... what a boring world would that be. I am part of a family of four kids. We have all been raised by the same parents, who love us, and taught us the same way. You could "assume" we all came from the same cook mold but when it comes to what we CHOOSE to believe. It is exactly that... it is a choice.

My siblings and I are all different. We have different challenges, different hair-do's, different talents and different testimonies. We have all made different mistakes, handled these mistakes differently and repented differently.  We came from the same parents but we all broke "the mold". We have CHOSEN our path, it wasn't decided for us. We were given knowledge and we choose what to believe and what not to believe. We weren't forced, we were taught.

I am not part of "the mold".

In our church, there is a general conference held every April and October where church leaders and the prophet address the members through talks. They pray and study and fast and pray some more for revelation from our Heavenly Father on what they should say that will: help us be better members of the church, help us be better people in general and most importantly be better servants of God. Many talks inspired me but one gave me utmost clarity about "the mold".

Sister Elaine S. Dalton, the now released president of the young women in our church, gave a talk on being a daughter of our Heavenly Father. This one line has stuck with me and will be something I say to my children.

"She understood who she was, and WHOSE she was."

It is as simple as that. I understand who I am because I know who God is and what he expects of me. I know I am a daughter of God.

I am not part of the Utah Mormon mold... because there isn't one. I don't follow blindly. I have had to question things and find my own answer. I have had to have faith and believe that what I am doing is the right thing. I have had to build my own testimony and I am still working on building my testimony and knowledge every day.

What I am is.. a Member of the Church of Jesus-Christ of Latter Day Saints who lives in Utah currently but is from Clifton, Idaho. I am a graduate student who loves the field of speech-language pathology and the people I get to help. I am the oldest of four. I am a wife to a loving husband who is trying to be the best man he can be and is devoted to our happiness as a couple. I married him quickly because he made me happy and I made him happy and I knew forever together wasn't enough. I am a girl that is striving to be a mother because I can't wait to have children I get to nurture and care for that I helped bring into this world. I can't wait to be a the center of a child's life and make someone feel absolutely loved and confident in who they are every. single. day. I go to church because it helps me become a better person and build my testimony and belief in Jesus Christ, my Savior and the way He has set for me to live with my family forever. I have had trials. I have weaknesses. I am not perfect.

I am Brynne. I know who I am and I know whose I am. I am a daughter of God. I am not part of "the mold." I am trying to be part of His mold.

Joy List

List of things that have made me SUPER happy in the last few days:

1- These people always make me happy. Clark has been the most understanding husband and has consistently made me fall in love with him again and again this past week. My parents continually tell me I'm in their prayers and I know it to be true. Getting letters and emails from JD always makes my day happy. I'm so proud of the kid. Texting Addie Belle is one of my favorite things to do and I don't do it enough. Just thinking about Brigham doing his creepy face and voice makes me happy. I love these people. 

2- I also have the best in-laws. I just had an interview for an externship and after we had the best time eating pizza and watching TV and not thinking about anything but hanging out. They are great. I also have 3 new baby nieces and nephews that are the most darling things in this world. Campbell, Leo and Nora are the cutest. I love hearing about them all and wish I could see them all EVERY.DAY.

3- Friday I felt like all my supervisors liked me. (This is rare.)

4- Eating at Herms Inn with some grad school friends today and then at Tandoori with my honey tonight.

5- Prayer. Scriptures. Church. Anything that helps the spirit reside with me. 

6- My run today. 3 words: Lovely, Happy and Endorphins!

7- Sleep. I finally got a good night of rest. 

8- My clean house and my laundry done. Thank you CLARK. 

I'm sure I could come up with more. This happy list is an effort to help me be more grateful for the life I've been given. Enough complaining. It's time to be happy. 

Being a Big Sis

There is something very incredible about being the oldest in the family. Although I was/am considered the "example" or "trail blazer", I have found that throughout my entire life I have looked to my siblings for example. I know without a doubt they were meant to be my siblings. It wasn't coincidence that JD, Addie and Brigham were mine. 

This weekend we celebrated JD's decision to serve a mission for our church. As he gave his talk, I looked at him and was amazed at the words he spoke and the thoughts that were being articulated. He spoke on the love of Christ and how he wanted to carry on the cause. He has the strongest desire to bring others to the gospel through Christlike love... and that is exactly how Christ intended it to be. It was a tender moment for me to realize that the brother that I learned with, fought with, played with, cried with, laughed with and celebrated with was so grown up. JD has overcome a lot in his life and always came out on top because of his faith, so it didn't surprise me to hear the words he spoke and his strong testimony resounding through the chapel. I was simply amazed. 

I got to watch Addie play basketball the night before JD gave his talk. She is so athletic and strong and healthy. As I watched her play, I was so proud to be her sister/look alike. She is an athlete. During the JV game, a friend on her team split her eyebrow open and the first one to rush to her aid was my little Addie. She walked her friend off the court and I just watched astounded. Addie is one of the most caring and considerate girls I know. 

Brigham was delightful this weekend. I watched him as he played with his younger cousins. They all look to him for friendship and leadership and love. I was eating at JD's dinner after church and three little kids (a lot younger than Brig) came up to me to ask where Brigham was, because they wanted to hang out with him. It amazes me how Brigham is such a good friend at such a young age.

I am so lucky to have the siblings I do. They teach me what is important daily. I am so proud to be their big sis. So as my family embarks on this new stage of life, JD's Mission, it is great to know that through all the trials we may face we have each other. 

My Grad School Family

So... currently I'm in graduate school for a Masters in Speech-Language Pathology. I've come to learn a lot about how to manage grad school and some tips and tricks to keep my head above the water. I get overwhelmed a lot but I think what has really helped me on some of my hardest days are three things:

- My Grad School Family
- My Clark
- My Savior

Now I know it is kind of cheesy to call the girls you go to school with your family but that is what I feel like we are sometimes. We rejoice when each other succeeds. We sympathize when others are burnt out. We try to help answer questions for each other. I've found that this group of women that I attend school with is simply astounding. It is nice to know that I have others who are going through the same thing as I am. It is also nice to know I have so many examples to look up to. I seriously could list a positive quality/experience I have recognized/had with each girl in my class that I have learned from. I want to mention just a few, that really stick out:

- There is this girl in my class. She is far from home and came here because she had an interest in assisting children, who have hearing loss and cochlear implants, with their speech. Everyday I look at her example of courage to move across the country to a place that was unfamiliar just because she had a passion for helping this population of children. She has taught me that amidst all the crazy things that happen in the world there are inherently good people that care about others and are willing to do things that aren't at all easy to help them.

- There is this other girl who is also far from home. You cannot believe the kind of energy this girl has. She runs from class to clinic to class to clinic to a supervisor meeting to another supervisor meeting to studying for a test, and still finds time to train for an ironman. I marvel at her example of energy. I also love that grad school does not stop her from doing the things she wants to like marathons, bike races, cross country skiing and an iron man. She has taught me to never lose sight of the things you want most in your life (like doing fun races, being with your pets or enjoying time with your significant other) even when life is extremely busy already.

- There is this other girl who I have just started to talk to a little more and watch as we have begun classes this semester. She is a very quiet girl but has a personality that makes people just want to associate with her. Once you get to know her you realize three things: you are definitely not as smart as her, she has a hilarious sense of humor, and she is happy. I have never had a run in with this girl where I don't come out feeling like I think she is the most intelligent, positive person I have ever met. She has taught me through all things to be happy and also that it is okay to be quiet and to let others come to know you as they go. There is beauty in her simple but hilarious personality.

- There is this other girl who I met this summer. She and I have very different personalities but we get along great. She has helped me realize more fully who I am by letting me know who she is. I admire her for consistently being her. She doesn't allow others to mold and shape her feelings. She seeks answers for herself. She is very true to herself. She also calms me down when I'm freaking out about clients and such. She also looks up syndromes that I don't know on her iPhone so I can be reassured that I can handle this client. She has taught me the value in seeking truth for yourself, forming your own opinions and MOSTLY being who you want to be.

- Lastly, I want to describe two students that I look at as THE model mothers. They are both mothers and both finishing their masters degree. I hate to clump them together because their personalities are so different but I do want to recognize that they have shown me the care you can have for another human being. I have watched as these two maneuver their everyday happenings with their home life and how hard it probably is. The sacrifice they are making being away from their home and kids to come to school will eventually be life altering for their children. Their children will someday look at their mothers and realize "Wow, my mom went to school and still made time for me." "My mother cared about me enough to show me how important my education was that she was willing to do anything to get hers." They have taught me that it is most important to not just say but show those you love that you love them.

I could go on and on about people I have learned from through this experience I am having but I wont. I just want to say thank you to my "grad school family". You all have really touched me and helped me figure out who I want to be as a professional, student, friend, mother, wife and person in general. I've always believed that people are part of your life for a reason and I still do. Thanks for making my life more endurable and letting me learn from all of you.