Saturday, May 24, 2014

Remembrance Day

My family came to visit me at our new home in Loveland, Colorado. The last 24 hours have been filled with fun and I'm sure the next few days will be perfect. This morning I was speaking with my parents about memorial day. I was asking why we decorated this holiday with American flags (yes I didn't know and it's embarrassing kind of). So my dad explained that it was initially created for the veterans and it was called remembrance day. I love that name way  more than memorial day. I think the thought of remembering something is more inviting and romantic than that of memorializing something. In essence the two words are the same however, I love the word remember more. 

This weekend for me is usually filled with barbecues and family time/vacation. It usually is just a holiday that marks the beginning of Summer. This year it is different. My heart is very close to the spirit of this day and that is to remember those who have passed. I have been very blessed to have so many people that have come before me who have made my life significantly better by their actions. There are two people in particular that I wanted to remember during this special weekend. . 

I have a great grandma and her name was Lulu. I love her name. I love it enough that I want to name a child after her but I don't know how big that would go over. My grandma Lulu died when I was young. I didn't know her very well but I will be forever indebted to the person she was and the role she played in my dad's life. She was a very strong, hard-working and devout LDS woman. 

My dad came from a broken home with acholism and many divorces and remarriages. Although his home life wasn't ideal, my dad had very loving parents who let him make choices for himself and become the person that he wanted to become. I love them for allowing him to do so. Dad, at a young age, decided to move from his mother's home and live with Grandma Lulu. He told me this decision to move was agonizing and difficult but in the end he felt the best about living with his Grandma and Grandpa.  They owned a farm and worked very hard. She evidently made the best carrot cake around and my dad loved working, eating, and living there. Eventually, he moved out and when he did he had a momentary period where he quit going to church. He recounts the story by explaining that one Sunday he woke up and thought to himself, "What am I doing? Why am I not at church?" He then went to the Bishop and told him he was part of that ward and wanted to be accountable to him. He wanted to go to church every Sunday. He didn't miss after that. My dad desired to grow in the gospel. 

After he graduated, he started thinking about a mission for the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. These missions usually cost quite a bit of money... money that he (a teenage boy living on his own for the past few years) didn't have. He went to Grandma Lulu and said, "Grandma I have really thought about it and I want to serve a mission. I have no idea how I'll pay for it but I really want to go." Grandma Lulu replied, "I was hoping you would say that. I have been saving for your mission. I have all the money saved up and I will help you go on that mission." 

I cannot express how much her generosity has impacted my life. I am so grateful for a great grandma that cared so much about my father. He had a father who let him down a lot and she never did. She showed him a very good way to live. She sacrificed time, effort, and money to raise a teenage boy that needed love and support. She played a huge part in making my dad the man he is today and I really love my dad. 

I want to remember my Lulu May this remembrance day because without her I don't know what kind of life I would have had but with her I know that I have a father who received love, support and guidance at a time he needed it the most. I will forever love her for that. I cannot wait to meet her in heaven and hug her. I cannot wait to sincerely and deeply thank her for how she treated my father and the time she invested in him. I am indebted to her.

The other person I need to remember and will never forget is my Grandpa Joe. My heart aches for the day I get to see him again. My grandpa was a convert to the church. Once he decided he would be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, he got baptized and never looked back. I could tell the story of his conversion or of his past. I could tell you his cool, funny and scary childhood stories but I want to tell you about the man I knew. 

One of my earliest memories of my grandpa involved church. I was visiting my Grandparents and I would be attending their church the next day. Saturday night my grandmother put together little baggies of whoppers for all the primary children. I sat there watching her.  My grandpa came in and spoke with her. I remember him listening to her advice and discussing what he would be doing the next day. I didn't really know what they were talking about or why she was assembling malt balls in ziploc bags. 

The next day in primary my grandpa (a member of the bishopric) came into the primary room to give the children a lesson. He began the story of David and Goliath. As he told the story, the malt balls were being passed out to the children. Then he stood on the table. He gave us a lesson about the difference in height of David and Goliath and with the help from God and some little stones (the size of whoppers) David was able to conquer this huge man. He ended the lesson with his testimony about the stories of the Bible and Book of Mormon. I remember vividly this statement, "The Book of Mormon is the most correct book on this Earth. It is revelation for these days. We need to read it and learn from the stories told in it." I loved my Grandpa because he could relate to me. As a child, he could help me understand the importance of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. 

He didn't just relate to me in this way. He also supported me in every other aspect of my life. My grandpa spent hours at jr. miss, dance recitals and helping me with math homework. I love my grandpa's interest in life. He loved all sporting events and knew every rule to every sport. He loved driving and looking for wildlife. He was a fisherman and I loved having fish and pancakes for breakfast after one of his good ice fishing trips. He played games with me and always won. Even when my gran and I would cheat together he would still win. During a summer when I was in middle school, I spent a week with my grandparents. Every day that week we would go on a walk and we also would watch the national spelling bee on TV while eating a bag of cherries. He put up with me dancing in front of the TV while he tried to watch sporting events. He went Black Friday shopping with us. As he got older, he became very interested in hummingbirds and watched them at a feeder placed outside his window. He was a very manly man but he found interest in the beauty of all God's creations. Ultimately, he loved his family and his role as a father was the most important to him. He raised six girls with my grandma. He and my gran made my mom the sports fanatic and gospel loving woman she is and I'm so thankful. I love my mom.

My grandpa fought kidney failure his whole life. He was sick all the time but he was strong for us. He had three kidney transplants in his lifetime and to the donors I will be eternally thankful. My freshman year of college he became more and more ill. Aunt Kristi donated her kidney to him a few years previous and now he had bone cancer and the kidney was failing. I got a call one Sunday morning before I headed to church. It was my mom. She told me that my grandpa was really sick and that he had decided to quit taking his medications and not fight the cancer. He was going to die. I remember sitting in that apartment beside myself. I asked my mom what we were going to do next. She said that we were probably going to go and say goodbye but that I needed to go to church. I took my phone to sacrament meeting and after taking the sacrament received a call from my mom. She told me to come home and we would drive as a family together to Ashton. When we arrived in Ashton. The feeling I had felt of peace and warmth and comfort at my Gran's home was now very somber. We all sat in the front room and we were called back one by one to talk to grandpa. My gran told me that it was my turn. I walked back to their room. My grandpa was laying in bed. He looked really sick and was really sick. I immediately began bawling and so did he. As we hugged, he kept saying, "Oh Brynnie, oh Brynnie I'm going to miss you so much. I love you so much." Then he gave me some council about how to live my life to the fullest. I told him how much I loved him and then I left the room. I was devastated. He died exactly one week later. My heart aches reliving that moment. What I love about the memories I have with my grandpa is that I will have more. My grandpa didn't say goodbye to me. He said that he would miss me. He knew that I would see him again and I know that too. 

This remembrance day I hope we can all remember those who have passed on before us and who have impacted our lives. I hope we can feel happy and at peace with the memories we have. Mostly, I hope we can be grateful for our Savior, Jesus Christ, who died for us so we could live forever with our families again. Because of Him, we can repent and return together. Because of our Savior, I will be reunited with my grandma Lulu and my grandpa again. Lulu May and Grandpa Joe led lives that exemplified faith in our Savior Jesus Christ. I hope to leave a legacy and memories  for others like they did for me.

Grandpa Joe
 

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