Finals Week...

This is how I feel right now...

I just want to sleep! Clark and I have had a very long Dead Week. There is a reason they call it dead week you know. You almost die by the end of it. Anywho... I have a final tomorrow (in my Pediatrics class), then two on Tuesday (one in my Advanced Adiology and on in my Speech Science class), then one on Wednesday in my child guidance class. Lovely isn't it? Clark has a Physics and Microbiology final tomorrow and then he has a Public Health final on Friday.

The thing I dislike most about Finals week especially in the Fall semester is I also feel like this...

I feel like the Grinch and Finals stole Christmas. I want so badly to be able to celebrate it but unfortunately these things called tests stop me from seeing lights, watching Christmas movies, making hot cocoa, Christmas shopping, going ice skating etc. etc. I will make up for it though and by Thursday I'll be looking like this...

I will be spreading Christmas cheer by singing loud for all to hear. You can bet on it? I will also be packing for the....

where Clark and I will be watching good ol' Turbin and Bobby Wagner and the rest of our Aggies play. I am so excited to go stay the night in Boise and have a little vacation with Clark. IT WILL BE THE BEST.

Well I better get back to this...

Have a fun December! Pray for my finals to go well. I'm done on Wednesday!!!!!!

Pain...

I know that this is a weird title for a post that will start with discussing Clark and I's Thanksgiving but unfortunately my brain takes mysterious turns and thinks deeply and I want to share some of my deep thoughts.

This Thanksgiving was absolutely wonderful. Clark and I woke up on Wednesday morning (the day before) packed our bags and headed to Clifton. We then road up to Ashton with a very loaded van plus seven bodies in it and we sang Christmas music the whole way. I love when my family sings together in the car. We all have decent voices, not American Idol voices but close, and it was very fun.We arrived at my Grandma's in the afternoon and continued to catch up with aunts, uncles, cousins and gran. My family is very close and my cousins are like my siblings and my aunts like my mothers. We stayed up late and then got up early to walk in the church. I got to walk with my parents and my aunt and have a fun little chat then we got back to Gran's and the preparation began. We made tons of yummy food and cute place settings then we sat down at around 2 to eat our meal. (I'll post pictures later... my mom stole my camera AGAIN surprise surprise)

When we have Thanksgiving dinner it is a tradition to say the prayer holding hands or at least I want it to be a tradition. I forgot to tell everyone we were going to hold hands before the prayer started so during the prayer all of the cousins began holding hands and then the chain stopped at Addie because my grandparents friend Wally, an elderly Russian man, was on her right side. She wasn't brave enough to grab the Russian's hand. It was really funny and probably very disruptive but we all enjoyed it.

Another tradition we REALLY have is after we get dished up we go around the table and say something we are grateful for. It is very tender every time we do it. We all have numerous things we are grateful for... some funny, some very simple and some very precious to us. This year we had a great variety of all three. My cousin Heather was thankful for trees because they help us breathe. My honey Clark said he was grateful for me, it was very sweet. I said I was grateful for all the safe houses I have of my aunts and that I know I can always be welcome at. Read this to learn more Click Here! Wally was thankful for the birds of the air and the fish of the sea... very simple and lovely. The most tender was JD.

He said he was thankful he knew that if we were doing what was right we would be happy and okay. He was struggling that day because his knee had been hurting him and he just didn't want to have to get surgery on it because there has always been some surgery he needed and he just wants to play ball. He began to cry and said that even if he had to get surgery and not play for a while it would be okay because he knew if he was doing what was right and good he would be happy. Because JD started crying so did McKayla, Addie, all of the Aunts at the table and probably Gran too.

From that moment my heart has been very tender toward the subject of pain and why people have to go through it. I know that pain and trials are given to us to make us stronger but it hurts me deeply to watch others go through their own trials and I just wish we didn't have to have pain at all.

My brother is a perfect example of someone who overcomes pain and moves on having faith and trying to be happy. I look up to him in so many ways.

My grandma is another example I look up to everyday. As I watched her Thanksgiving weekend, I saw the loneliness in her eyes and heard it in her voice and I know that she misses my grandpa daily but she persists on. She keeps herself busy by serving others. She has a mission on this Earth left to complete and although she has to do it without her husband by her she will still accomplish this mission faithfully and happily. I love her so much for the example she is to me.

Recently, I was on a blog and read a story about a little girl who had died tragically. Her mother wrote the story and continues to write her feelings about her daughter and this terrible loss. She is faithful though. Although I don't know her my heart aches for her. I can't imagine losing someone so precious at such a young age. You can read the story here.

As I reflect on pain, I think of mothers. I think of all the pain they go through to get a child to this Earth. After the pain though, is the reward. They then have a beautiful spirit in a perfect little body with them, something so tangible yet so eternal. They get to experience the worst of all pain and then the greatest of all joy within minutes of each other. I know that Heavenly Father gives us trial and pain for a reason, He wants us to be able to know the difference from real joy and real sorrow. He wants us to grow and become like Him. He wants us to feel what He has felt and rejoice in the things He wants us to rejoice in. He wants us to become Gods and Goddesses. Although our trials and pain may seem like they will last forever, they are only a minute in the eternal plan and if we can overcome that minute and still remain faithful we will experience eternities of JOY.

I'm grateful for this time of year and how it makes me reflect on all the wonderful things I have been given. I'm grateful to know the truthfulness of the gospel. Enjoy this special time of the year and reflect on the things you are grateful for. Celebrate Jesus Christ. Only through Him will we receive that eternal JOY we so greatly desire.

5 Favorites Friday!

Here are some things I just wanted to say that I absolutely love today... and every other day

1- Chunky Cinnamon French Toast! So Kneaders just opened in Logan and it is the best restaurant I have ever eaten at. It is more of a Cafe Rio restaurant with no waitresses, they just bring you your food. I love it. It is quaint and cute and homey and the food is amazing. This morning Clark woke me up and took me in my sweats to Kneaders. I looked ridiculous but the French Toast made up for it. I even got caramel syrup with it and it was divine! Tasted exactly like my Grandma's caramel syrup. Okay... enough about Kneaders.

2- We get to go to West Side at Noon and watch this guy play football! I'm so excited and he is so good. I hope he does well this game! I also get to see my family and gran and aunt so I'm very happy.

3- I'm in charge of some Halloween treat for my Sister-In-Law's Halloween party we are going to on Saturday. I'm taking little smokies and these cake balls. They are so cute and SOOOOO good. I think I might make ghosts instead of pumpkins though.

 

4- I don't know if this movie will work but this is a movie of my grandpa. He is the best guy. This was the November before he passed away. We bought him a big screen plasma TV for Christmas. We were going to give it to him for Christmas but we got it at the Black Friday Sales and then me, my aunts and cousin were all featured on the front page of an Idaho Falls paper with the TV going out of the store so we figured he might find out. It was very funny. So we set it up before the BYU football game that weekend vs Utah and we watched it and made JD take him to my aunts and keep him busy while we set it up. It was a wonderful surprise for him. I found the movie and it is short but it's my Grandpa smiling and I love that. I love seeing him alive and I can't wait until I get to see him again. I love this little clip.

5- I also found this picture with that movie clip. My favorite thing on Friday is that I get to hang out with this guy for the weekend. He is truly the greatest.

Sometimes...

Sometimes your mom steals your camera when you want to post pictures on you blog and you don't know when she will give it back. She bought you that camera for Christmas and you know secretly she wanted it so part of you is thinking you should just give it to her and let her enjoy the present she bought you and the other part of you is thinking that you would hate taking pictures without that camera because you are no artist and all you could really do is draw what is going on.

Sometimes you want to post about your brother's senior night football game and how you think he is so great and has so much great life to live ahead of him but you don't really want to do it without pictures because it is boring without pictures and your mom stole your camera. I love you JD and Mom.

Sometimes you have terrible amounts of homework and you don't want to do them at all but you do anyway because you know that with an awesome Halloween party to attend this weekend you will have little time to really study because you'll be creating your costume last minute.

Sometimes you're on campus from 7 am until 7 pm because you have a night class and an early shift of work and what is the point in going home because your biggest break is an hour and a half between classes. This 7 am until 7 pm Tuesday sometimes upsets you. You really dislike it.

Sometimes you have a fabulous weekend doing whatever you want to do: eating, sleeping, going to the pumpkin walk, watching football, playing games, making treats, painting pumpkins, going out to eat at Olive Garden, visiting Petsmart and wishing you had a puppy, visiting old friends, cuddling, taking naps and going on bike rides. This fabulous weekend makes it very hard to enjoy this "fabulous" week you are going through right now with homework and studying and tests and quizzes and papers etc. etc. However, you are very grateful for your 3 day weekend!

Sometimes you are just simply happy that you have the life you do and you realize this when you are making Rachael Ray Steak Sub Heroes and your husband announces he got a .25 raise and you both get so excited you are making 25 cents more and then you celebrate by eating your dinner you are currently making and studying. You are so grateful for your jobs, chance to attend school, food on your table, warm house, car that works, indoor plumbing, family that loves you, your spouse who adores you and the gospel in your life.

Sometimes...

I love this guy...

He is my favorite and my best friend. I am so luck to have him and I just wanted to shout it from the rooftops today! Love you Clark Saville.

Why I love General Conference...

- I get to spend time with my family
- I get to have good food that I didn't make
- I get to stay in my comfies on Sunday
- I get to listen to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir
- I get to feel the spirit
- I get to hear modern day revelation from God from our prophet and apostles
- I get to be inspired to be better

Another thing I love about General Conference is listening to President Uchtdorf speak. Of course, I like hearing all the talks but for some reason the way President Uchtdorf speaks resonates with me perfectly. I have loved every single talk I've ever heard from him but I really loved his talk on Saturday. I can't re-read it and quote it so I'll tell you why I loved it later but I also loved the talk he gave at the Relief Society session. When reading over this talk I applied it to my life and I'd just like to share how great it was for me.

He gave us 5 things we need to be wise NOT to forget.

#1- Forget not to be PATIENT with yourself

He told us we all have strengths and we all have weaknesses and that the person we think is perfect is most likely not.

My translation: Do not compare myself to others and when I don't get my to-do list done during the day or don't do as well as I would like to on something to give myself a break! I still need to have high standards and expectations for myself but when I don't meet these expectations I need to be patient and realize I am only human and I will do better next time.

#2- Forget not the difference between a good sacrifice and a foolish sacrifice

He told us an acceptable sacrifice is when we give up something good for something of greater worth. We need to be able to realize when we are foolishly sacrificing.

My translation: Prioritize! I need to prioritize my life so that the most important things happen by commiting by time to things in my life that matter most... My Savior, My Spirituality, My Husband, My Home, My Family, My Callings, My Health, My Schooling

#3- Forget not to be happy now

He said, "There is nothing wrong with righteous yearnings—we hope and seek after things that are “virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy.” The problem comes when we put our happiness on hold as we wait for some future event—our golden ticket—to appear."

My translation: I have a hard time with this one. I always have something I am looking to in the future that will make me happier. I am excited to be done with school, have kids a home and Clark have a real job, but I need to realize that the small things and our life now can be happy happy things like: cuddling with Clark, making dinner together, learning new things at school, meeting new people, creating new friendships and relationships in this time in our life, playing games on Sunday, going on long runs, bike rides or walks, having serious chats in the car, watching siblings grow up, hanging out with older and wiser siblings and just creating a life together.

#4- Forget not the "why" of the Gospel

He said, "We focus on what the Lord wants us to do and how we might do it, but we sometimes forget why." He goes on to say, "when we remember why we committed to making it a foundational part of our lives, the gospel ceases to become a burden and, instead, becomes a joy and a delight. It becomes precious and sweet."

My translation: I need to remember why I am doing what I do. I need to remember that I keep commandments, go to the temple, go to church, take the sacrament, pay tithing, visit teach, read my scriptures and pray because it will truly give me happiness now and in the eternities. I am doing these things because I was raised and taught to do them but I am also doing them so I can be on good terms with my Heavenly Father and Savior and have eternal happiness.

#5- Forget not that the Lord loves you

He said, "Sisters, wherever you are, whatever your circumstances may be, you are not forgotten. No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves you with an infinite love."

My translation: I am not forgotten. I am loved. I am a daughter of a King and that makes me a someone who is VERY important. He loves us all individually.

I love general conference. I also love fall and October. I am excited for Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. It is my favorite time of the year and it gets to begin with general conference. I am one lucky girl.

My #11's...

So... we are back in school and I just have to say. It has been one busy semester so far. We are one month in and this past week felt like finals week. You know how finals week feels when you are so tired because of lack of sleep from studying and working and going to class and then you are malnourished because you don't have time to buy groceries and under-exercised because you don't have time for that either. Well... add a football game at west side to all those feelings and you have my week in a nutshell. I had 3 tests. Clark had 1 and it was no fun!!!!

Now... on a lighter note. I did get to go and celebrate my Addie's 14th birthday with her on Thursday. We watched her game and gave her cupcakes and then we went to JD's Senior Homecoming game. I just have to say I have some amazing siblings. Whenever I see or hear the things that they accomplish I am always so proud to be their sister.

JD-
Click Here!
To hear about my brother being famous. He has a great football team this year that he is the quarterback of and it is so fun to watch him play, but I need to tell you the real reason I am proud I am JD's sister.

From the moment JD was born he has: loved loved loved sports and had a defective body. Now when I say defective body I do not say it lightly although it is funny to say your brother has a defective body. He really does though. He has had numerous knee and ear surgeries and he has had to have a surgery to extract a tumor from his face. Yes folks... his face. And when I say JD has loved loved loved sports. I do not say that lightly either. He has played basketball, soccer, football, baseball, ran track and wrestled. He has loved everything about them too.

As the oldest sister I have had to sit through numerous ballgames and also a lot of surgeries and with everyone there has been heartache and rejoicing. JD has had a constant battle with his body and has never felt completely good. He has never had a day he hasn't endured some type of pain. His body, like I said, is defective. I have watched JD though and he has grown through all the trials with his body and he still plays. He still loves every second of every game. He still would choose shooting a ball or scrimmaging over most things and I think that is amazing. I think it is amazing that I am related to someone so strong. He is absolutely unstoppable. And it isn't just his victory over his body that I have been amazed with. It is his ongoing desire to be good. He is a good kid. He is kind and funny and smart and good and that is why I am so proud to be related to #11.

Addie-
I have never ever had the pleasure of meeting someone as pleasant and kind as my sister. She is one of the best people I know. I got the opportunity to watch her play volleyball a week ago and wow can she hit that ball. She is very athletic but I noticed something after the game. She went up to the line judge and thanked her. What player have you ever seen do this? Go up to a line judge and thank her. I have never seen a volleyball player do that nor have I seen a football player thank the chain gang either. I was so proud to see my little #11 do that.

Besides being kind and practically perfect, Addie is the most naturally beautiful girl I know. She can even pull off braces. She is also so funny and so fun to hang out with. She is always up for an adventure and she is the most creative girl you will ever meet. She has also gotten her Young Women's Medallion and is very faithful in reading her scriptures every night.

I am so happy to be able to know someone of such a high caliber. She is one of the most genuine people I know and I am proud to be her sister.

Brigham-
The more I watch Brigham grow up, the more I like him. He is one of the funniest boys I know. He is extremely smart too. He is tight end on his little football team and also #11. He is great and his team has lost all their games but he is so hopeful and happy that he gets to play football. (He makes touchdowns like their going out of style too.) I have a story that I love about Brigham though. One night Clark, JD, Addie, Brigham and I were sitting at the house and I suggested we play 500 outside. Brigham was it during one point of the game and calls out "mystery box" and when I get the ball he calls out freeze ray. (Hello, I didn't know that the rules have been revamped! You seriously can do that these days now... call freeze ray and get away with it. So I was frozen a whole turn.) Well... JD soon becomes it and calls "mystery box" then Brigham gets it and he says "glue bum". Brigham had to sit on the wet grass and the rest of the game everyone was getting glue bummed. It was pretty intense. At the end of the game Brigham was way mad because he lost and was getting pushed around by all of us bigger kids and he ran into the house. Well a few weeks later we were talking about that game and Brigham said, "When you have kids, I'm going to play 500 and give them glue bums all the time." To which I replied, "I'll tell mom." And he said, "she can't do anything about it, I'll be bigger than all of you."

There are 2 things I love about this story. 1- I love that Brigham pictures being an uncle to my kids and playing with them in the yard. I love that he wants to be an uncle that plays with his nieces and nephews. He is going to be a great uncle someday. 2- I love that he is so optimistic about the future and that someday he will be bigger than all of us. I hope he is. I will always be proud to be his big sister.

As you can tell, I love my family. I love who I get to spend forever with and even when tests wreak havoc on my week, I can find the good in everything and love the life I've been given.

My Summer List!

1-Take the GRE- 1140 BABY!

2- Go to the Playmill with my fun family- GO GO GO JOSEPH!

3- Win the family cupcake wars competition- Well I won the presentation category, thanks to Delaney's singing voice and pop rocks and sparklers!

4- Go to Bear Lake for one week SO FUN!

5- Go to South Carolina with Clark Lovin' It!

6- Get in great shape  I worked out a lot

7- Buy bikes and ride A LOT

8- Get a tan It's peeling off :(

9- Watch Fireworks on the 4th

10- Have a huge water fight party


11- Go to Harry Potter

12- Go to the Drive-In Rick's Drive Inn

13- Finish my punch pass at Orange Leaf

14- Go on an overnighter camping trip

15- Go Hiking

16- Learn how to grill something tasty

17- Watch the Stars

18- Finish my punch pass at Cafe Rio

19- CELEBRATE our 1st anniversary Anniversary Inn... Rick's Drive-Inn

20- Turn 20! I even threw myself a birthday bash!

I Believe in Prayer...

This past week/months have been very stressful for me. Although, I have been able to have a fun summer and do fun things so far. I have had the doom of the GRE hanging over my head. It has been hard to be torn between studying, playing and working. I just didn't want to study at all. The week before the GRE I started to worry A LOT!!!! I didn't know how I was going to get the score I needed and so I got on my knees. The whole week I studied hard and prayed harder. I went into the test and got a 1140... good enough to get into grad school. I am so happy and so relieved and I know that my Heavenly Father was involved in that score and in everything I studied and did to prepare. I am so thankful that I know there is a God and that He loves His children.

Now my summer can begin!

"Five Feel Goods" Friday!

It's Friday again! Where did the week go? Actually, scratch that question... this week has been hectic! It was Clark and I's last week of class for the Spring semester. Next week I take 2 finals and then I am out of here for a while! Today I've been so excited. Why? Because it's JR. MISS WEEKEND! I love JR. MISS WEEKEND!

So here are my 5 things that make me FEEL GOOD!:

1- Walking out of my last class- Best feeling of the semester is knowing that my projects and classes are done and I only have 2 tests left!

2- Curls in my hair- I have not had enough time this week to actually do my hair cute for around 2 weeks and today I took the time after class and did my hair in curls, wore a cute shirt my mom bought me for Easter and a new necklace she gave me also. So I feel very cute.

3- JR MISS- I get to go to dress rehearsal tonight with Addie and her friends and the real thing tomorrow with Gran and JD and Addie. It should be a blast.

4- Dawn and Rachel- I got to hang out with the girls last night while Clark studied and it was way fun. We went to firehouse and talked for hours. Girls nights are great!

5- Husband- My husband is the best guy! Just because...

JR.MISS

When Plans Go Wrong...

I have always had a plan in my life... when I was a senior in high school I had a plan. I was going to go to Utah State on scholarship in my grandparents jeep (that I begged for and due to lovely grandparents I was allowed to borrow it for a semester) and study Speech Language Pathology. Everything worked out for me that year after high school (well mostly everything) I did what I thought I was going to do. I had some roommate troubles but other than that I had a great year. I fell in love and then the next plan in my life was established.

My connections class

My 1st college room. My bed was the cute pink one.

I married Clark and now I had a CRV to drive to my Junior year of college. I finally got into my major and loved it and it has been great so far. However, this summer and my plans for that are starting to irk me! I had a plan this summer that I would take an anatomy class from SLCC and stay at my in-laws. I would study for my GRE and volunteer at hospitals to up my resume and I would train for a marathon.

My plan has gone wrong. What do you do when your plan goes wrong? Well to be honest, I don't know the answer to this question. My plans usually have worked how I thought they would and now I really don't have a game plan. This is the reason why... SLCC accepted me and I got on to register for my class this summer and all the courses were full. The professors are discouraged to take anymore students than the limit and their is no wait list for Biology 2320. This little disturbance in the plan made me rethink every single decision I had made about this summer. I had to start thinking about different ways I can take this class. I had to reconsider the job thing and the volunteer thing. etc. etc. NO FUN!

The point of the whole story is that... I strongly dislike growing up. I love that I have my own apartment, with my own husband and my own little life but I miss being a kid. I really do. I miss coming home to a meal made by my mother and a clean house. My mom even made my bed on mornings I had to run out of the house without doing it... she thought I was ungrateful when I didn't notice this but I noticed and I loved it. Thanks mom. I miss cuddling on the couch watching NCIS after mom and I got home from dance practice. I miss FHE with little brothers and sisters. I miss laundry being done for me and all I have to do is put it away. I miss running cross country on a team. I miss jumping on a trampoline whenever I wanted. I miss staying up late talking to my mom. I miss random people dropping in the Cook house on Sunday evenings. I miss a lot about being a kid.

Although the point of the story was that... I strongly dislike growing up, their is another point that this plan story brings up.

I have a plan that no matter what happens with this college class or what happens with the rest of the
future, that I will create that carefree life Clark and I both lived as children for my own. My house will be a safe haven from the world. We will read scriptures, have FHE and attend church regularly. We will have dance parties in the kitchen while washing the dishes. We will cuddle and watch NCIS or some other show after dance lessons. We will practice piano and other instruments. We will work on homework and succeed at what we try to do as a family. We will play endless amounts of games and have random neighbor friends drop in regularly on Sundays. We will work and clean. We will learn a lot together. Most of all, we will love each other and our house will be filled with Christ.

I hope that I can create a life for my children that I had and I hope in that home of ours my children can make plans, like I did and even when they don't work out, they can see the bigger picture.

*This was a very long long blog post but I'm also adding pictures of our Easter Friday night. It was fun!

We dyed Easter Eggs. I put too much vinegar and they turned out yucky so we only dyed 5. HA HA.

We got each other Easter baskets.

I already told you what Clark got and he loved it!

I got cute notebooks for my to-do lists, a pirate kite because West Side is my Alma-mater and lip gloss.

He's a cute guy!

Oh ya and the Easter bunny is Catholic. I got Easter chocolate prayer hands. I think the E. Bunny also has a sense of humor.

On Saturday we went to my parents and opened Easter bags. My parents got me a cute shirt and necklace and Clark a sling shot. He loved it. Then on Sunday we had Easter dinner at the Evans. Claudia makes a mean Halibut dish.

Overall, It was a GREAT EASTER. We are so thankful for the Savior and His atonement and resurrection. We are so grateful we know we will live as families forever.

"Five Feel Goods" Friday!

I decided I'm going to do this on Friday's for fun! So these are the things I loved, that made me feel good today and this week.

1. Old Men- Well really old men can be the meanest guys ever or the nicest and today I had a good experience. This old guy came through parking and I ask "how are ya?" as always his reply is, "I'm doing good for an old guy." He says this every time he comes through. I don't know if it is the dementia kicking in or he really is doing good for an old guy. I love seeing him. I love old men like this and I'm so happy that I already know my husband is going to be nice when he is elderly because those mean one's aren't very fun.



2- Being Wanted- I get a text last night from my dear cousin McKayla saying that she is playing volleyball in Smithfield tomorrow. I was glad she thought of me and would like if I came. Then I had a teacher say she wanted me to come to the lab on Saturday and work on my projects (well she didn't say that exactly but she said we could come work on our projects). Then I had an Ear Anatomy book begging me to read it on Saturday. Then I had my boss email me and say he would love for me to go garden at Shaw's on Saturday. I also had the prophet tell me he'd like me to go to the temple on Saturday (well those weren't his exact words either but he wants me to go). I love being wanted! I do plan on attending each of these things. Luckily, I have Friday to spread them out too!

3- The Easter Bunny- Knowing that Clark probably won't read this I'll reveal what the Easter Bunny is giving him. Clark asked for Jarritos the Mexican Soda, so the E. Bunny got some of that. He also got an iTunes card because he knew Clark was itching to buy angry birds but had no excuse to. He also ordered a book off Amazon for $6.50 and had it sent to our apartment called "Other Men's Horses" by Elmer Kelton. The Easter Bunny knows Clark so well.


4- Sunday Nap- The anticipated Sunday nap always makes me feel good on a Friday.


5- Shaw's and my lovely friend Rachel- I get to go to Shaw's in a half an hour and I'm way excited. Mostly because my friend Rachel will tell me her love life stories and also because I feel accomplished after I garden for a while.

PS- I'll add pictures later to make this more exciting!

Crumpled Parking Tickets and Passions

Lately, I've been thinking... what is my passion? Everyone in life has something they absolutely love. For my Grandpa it would be: fishing, sports, the gospel and his family. (I miss my grandpa)

For my Grandma it would be: her honey, her kids, her grand kids, the gospel and taking care of the church library (AKA ward). (My Gran looks lovely in this picture)

For my dad it would be: telling jokes, pondering about things for many hours, his calling and his family.

For my mother it would be: entertaining the masses and serving others (and of course the gospel). She tends to always be doing something for someone else or talking to a wall. (She is a cute mom!)

For my brother Joseph it would be: SPORTS, what ever is in season and maybe his other one would be talking mom into pretty much anything.

 
For my sister Addie, it would be: perfecting everything. She is perfect at pretty much everything she does whether it's sports, school, making friends, reading her scriptures, obeying her parents... She is perfect.

For my brother Brigham it would be: a tie between being the baby of the family and eating ramen noodles (my dad says he could feed Brig for $1 a week and Brigham would be content every night on ramen) or maybe it would be his bird buddy. (I put this picture up because my mom says he is her favorite kid)

For my husband Clark it would be: Brazil, horses, the outdoors, western novels and I would say me.

So all of these people have these amazing passions. They are unique to them but I don't feel like I have any unique passion. Some people have a passion for fashion, some have one for cooking or interior design. I do not have those passions. I can't pin one for me. I have the regular passions: my family, the gospel, my husband etc. but I don't have a Brazil or a bird. I don't have a sport or kids. I don't have a knack to serve all day everyday. So I constantly tell Clark I'm passionless. I have not one thing that is all mine... except for him.

This was our discussion the other night. Clark is in the other room studying and I am looking at a fashion blog. I realize again that I'm passionless. I am just a fish in the ocean of students at Utah State. I work for Parking of all places... parking. I then get depressed. I go into the room sit by Clark and say, "Clark, I'm passionless." He replies, "No you aren't." I say, "Yep, I am. I don't know fashion, interior design, cooking or crafts." He then says, "Those fashion people are selfish. (NO OFFENSE FASHION PEOPLE) You take care of me. You pay attention to your siblings. You're good at school. You run a lot. You are fun. See, you do have passions." Needless to say, I guess I was looking for passion in the wrong places. I just wanted something cool that I could blog about and get famous off of, like this fashion girl I was reading about. So pretty much, I was being shallow.

I decided that I do have a passion and mine is: "Becoming a Someone". I have so many things I want to do in this life and I have goals I want to reach. This is why I am in school and why I go to church and why I develop talents that I have. I think it is a good passion and an experience the other day confirmed it for me. As I said, I work for parking and I see many many people come through everyday. Nice people, mean people, stressed people, sad people, happy people, lovely people and all kinds of other people. I get handed many blue tickets from all these people everyday that tell me how much to charge them and then this old lady with arthritis comes through, a really BAD case of arthritis.

Her knuckles are turned the wrong way. Her fingers don't come together right and she hands me a crumpled parking ticket. I usually get frustrated when they are crumpled because I can't run them through the machine and I have to un-crumple them and run them through a separate machine and it slows me down. I want the tickets handed to me perfectly in crisp condition. Then it hits me like a ton of bricks... this analogy is strange I know but... I want to be a crumpled parking ticket. When I've grown old, I want the experiences in my life to have shaped the person I am. I don't want to be the perfectly crisp parking ticket that has never experienced anything in life. I want to be the crumpled isn't perfect but will still do.

My grandma has a quote I read when I go to her house and I can't remember it now but the point is that the lady makes in the quote is when she shows up to Heaven she doesn't want to recollect her Earthly life as having the biggest house, the most money, the prettiest clothes etc. etc She wants to show up with peanut butter on her dress from the sandwich she made for a child in an old volks wagon with calloused hands. The analogy reaches quite far from a crumpled parking ticket to this quote but the lady wants to be a crumpled parking ticket. She doesn't want to look prim and proper all the time, she wants to be that someone that didn't have everything and didn't live the 'perfect' luxurious life but she still enjoyed the ride and was shaped into the someone she is because of it. I want to "become a someone... a crumpled parking ticket."

BECAUSE in the end it doesn't matter how perfect you are...What matters is:

How much you LOVED the people in your life...

How GOOD YOU WERE to the friends you made...

the DECISIONS you made...

and how HARD YOU TRIED.

Because the Lord will un-crumple your ticket and make up the difference.

So from passions to parking tickets I found that, I do have a passion and I love it. In the end, what will matter most is, "that someone I became."