Fulfilled

I began my internship at the IMC in Murray. Wow... is it crazy busy. I usually get there by 7:30 and I'm  done at maybe 4:00. I get to see help patients with a wide range of disabilities caused by strokes, TBI, illness and disease. My therapy consists of  swallowing, cognition and language. I would never trade the experience I am getting now for anything and I'm a little hesitant to say this and put it in writing but I think I have found my niche. I hesitate because I don't want to be bound to one part of this profession quite yet. That is the beauty of my profession, I can work with infants, toddlers, school age children, teenagers, adults and the elderly. I have loved it all minus school age children. They are the best but I don't love the school as much as the other places I have been.  

Anyway (I ramble a lot), this internship has made me think in so many many ways. On a day-to-day basis I see people in grief, people thankful they are alive, people looking at the positive, people dwelling on the negative, people whose family don't show up to help them, people whose family show up and are extremely supportive etc. 

I see lots of families and people from all walks of life with one common goal: RECOVERY. 

It is amazing the people I have met and the stories I have been able to hear. I receive life advice and counsel daily from my patients and I love it. So.... as I said this internship, in the 2 weeks I have been there, has made my mind go places it never has. I have had to stretch my knowledge of medical terms and therapy, as well as think about life as a whole and why I'm here and all of the sudden life has become so much more precious and the people in my life have become even more important. 

I know on my blog I share some deep thoughts rolling in my head and I want anyone who reads this to know that these thoughts are my own. They are not meant to offend nor will they ever be. This is not a disclaimer for the rest of the passage but something I needed to say to ensure that no one will ever be upset by something I write. What I write is deeply personal and real. I love when others share personal lessons they have learned or gratitude they have felt or testimony they have developed, I want to do the same.

Back to the hospital, (my mind is a jumbled mess today) I have been thinking about how I am going to remember these sweet people whom I have gotten to know so well in the past weeks. I have decided I want to write a lesson I have learned from each one of my patients. I will never include names or identifying information so this isn't violating any laws, but it is going to help me remember the life lessons I have learned, promptings I have received and advice I have been given.

I emailed JD the other day and told him how my internship was going and I told him I loved it so much because I felt so close to my Savior. 

I had an impression the first day that I never want to forget. In my head I had the distinct thought, "Brynne these are your brothers and sisters that you are helping to function in everyday life. Isn't it a blessing you get to hold such a role in their lives?" I have never understood until that moment why people say, "my career is so fulfilling". 

I never went on a mission for my church which is fine but I love sharing the message of the gospel. One thing I love most about sharing the gospel is conveying to others how much their Savior, Jesus Christ, loves them and how through Him we will be eternal families. I know I can't preach my religion in a hospital but I can live it. I feel so lucky to hold a place in these patients lives... for a short time I get to help them recover, help them feel valued despite their circumstances but mostly help them feel cared for and loved. I get to learn to be more like my Savior. He heals. He listens. He comforts. He watched over. He wants the best for all of us. I am not saying I am these patients Savior but I am saying that I feel so close to my Savior by helping these people. I have never cared so much for people I didn't know and it is because the thought of helping my heavenly brothers and sisters became so real to me that day I received that impression. This career is so fulfilling. I love it so much. I never thought I would be able to say that about any career/livelihood (except motherhood) but I truly can now.

So for the next eight weeks while I miss my husband while he is working in Logan and I am here. I am going to write about lessons I have learned from those I have gotten to work with. These people are amazing and have touched my life more than they ever will know.

Loss + Gain

I often walk or ride my bike through the cemetery on my way to campus because it is the only thing that separates my apartment complex from campus. As I was walking vigorously to my class the other day I was looking at all the graves and by one I saw an elegant elderly lady dressed warmly for the brisk weather. Her hair was tucked into a hat and she had a beautiful red lipstick on. In her hand she carried a wreath. I watched her as I walked. She set a wreath down by a grave and stood up as she pulled a handkerchief out of her pocket. Her shoulders sulked as she pressed the handkerchief to her eyes.

I passed her and continued to walk. At the beginning of my walk, I was thinking about the billion things I had to do that day and now the only thing I was thinking of was her. I wondered how long it had been since this person (I assume her husband) had passed. I wondered if she always dressed so beautifully before coming to her loved ones grave. I wondered why she had to be alone. I was so sad as I looked at this lady, who is most likely, a wonderful woman mourn. I was sad that she would be spending Christmas without the person she loved the most.

Then as I continued to think about her as I got closer and closer to campus I started to think of all the things she had gained because she had loved this person. She had gained someone who was her confidant, her partner in crime and her best friend. She and this special someone probably had many Christmases together singing carols and sharing gifts. She probably bore a few wonderful children and now has many grandchildren who enrich her life and look to her as a grandmother. She probably grew old with her best friend. They probably went on adventures, faced trials, celebrated victories and laughed a lot together. I began to understand her loss more. Then I began to feel guilty for ever taking for granted any person in my life who has added joy to it.

My mind has been on this experience for most of the week. I am finishing up at Utah State this semester. I will graduate in May with my best friend, Clark. Our lives will change drastically in the next few months. This month I will say so many goodbyes to people I have come to truly love throughout my education. I know my loss is different than the lady I observed. However, I want to note that some of the goodbyes I say will truly feel like a loss. I will leave people I have spent much of my time with and may not ever see some of them again. I also want to note how this loss is making me realize how much I have gained. I have gained some true friends, some great examples and some lifelong memories that I wouldn't trade for anything. I want to mention just a few of these people who have made my life easier and will make me miss this very hard but rewarding experience of graduate school.

- A: Ever since undergrad I have admired your quiet presence. You do not have to be loud or flamboyant to make yourself known and I wish I was more like that. You were such an amazing partner at CETC and taught me a different way to be as a clinician because I often am a loud and flamboyant person. Your quiet yet very educated and confident presence has helped me learn that I don't need to always say what's on my mind to be heard. I love that about you. 

- J: Besides always looking adorable everytime I see you, you have taught me the power of going through trials. I cannot believe you have faced a whole semester away from your husband and how that has probably affected every aspect of your life but you continue to have a bright countenance and cheery disposition and you push through. You have taught me persistence and for that I am forever thankful.  

- J: I really want to thank you for how you always seemed to know what to say to me when I was stressed out or sad. You made me feel like what I was going through at any point in time was important by listening to me in the materials room and caring about what I had to say and giving advice when needed. I don't think you'll know how your example has really affected my experience.

- A: Man... I will miss your contagious laugh and bubbly personality. You always seem to be able to make any negative situation one that we can laugh at. Thank you.

- A: I love how you fall asleep in class sometimes. Most of all, I love how you love the field of speech-pathology. You are such a positive person. I love that I have never heard a bad word about someone else come out of your mouth. I really admire the person you are. Thanks for showing me how to be better.

-A: Thank you for being a constant example of a person who loves the Savior. When I am around you your love for your husband, family and the Savior radiates. I love that about you. Thanks for being a peaceful place during grad school. I'm happy you served a mission for the LDS church because I bet you changed a lot of lives.

- A: Ever since sign language 2 I have loved the person you are. I look to the example of you and your husband so much in how I want to show love to my husband. You are awesome in so many ways!

- J: I absolutely love your sense of humor. I love that you were a ballerina and I love that you are so girly. Thank you for being a breath of fresh air. I feel like every interaction I have had with you has been a positive one because you are so kind and you look at life and laugh about it. I wish I was more like you.

- A: You are the best partner a girl could ask for. You are hilarious and wonderful and make me want to be a better person whenever I talk to you. Thanks for being so awesome to be around and thanks for being funny it really helped me out.

- K: You are superwoman. Thank you for sharing your son with all of us. I will miss that little guy but mostly I will miss seeing your face when you see him after one of us has tended him all day while you were busy. I will miss seeing you hold and cuddle him and stare at him with the loving look that I hope I will give my children someday. I have seen you grow from I graduate student into a mother and you have done it so gracefully. I hope I can follow your example.

- M: I will miss your laugh. SO MUCH. It is the cutest thing ever. And when you whisper things in the back row like "she speaks?" And it makes my whole day.

- L: I will miss how you were willing to help me with clinic ideas, labs, homework etc. You are really good at helping others.

- S: I love how you care about others and I feel so happy for anyone who gets to be part of your life because of how good and caring you really are.

- K: I really think you're the greatest. I love your energy. You make me feel like a slacker a lot and I hope that I can grow up to be a person that has that much energy and enjoys the beauty of the earth and the strength of her body as much as you do. I love how you love your dogs. I think about how you rescued Luna and think that role fits you. You are a rescuer.

-M: I just cry when I think about saying goodbye to you. I don't really think I can put into words just how much I have learned from you and how happy I am that you are my friend. You have taught me a lot about the kind of person I want to become. I love who YOU are. I love your strength. I love your how genuine you are. I love how you look at life. I cannot wait until we have a connecting breezeway between our houses with horses in the back pasture.

- B: I have never met someone I have clicked with so fast. I know that we annoy each other sometimes but mostly I know that you are one of my best friends and throughout all the hard times we've faced these few years we came out still best friends. I'm so happy you came into my life when you did. Thank you for listening and analyzing and studying and chilling and everything else you did with me. I'm forever thankful that we crossed paths.

So... that lady in the cemetery taught me that the reason why we visit the cemetery isn't because we are sad we have lost someone so special but is because we are so happy we have gained a person in our life who has taught us so much, helped us learn true love, showed us affection and given us a reason to be joyful.

Stir Crazy!

So today I have been sick... really sick. Therefore I have been laying in bed working on my thesis and trying to get rest. It's. The. Worst. So I am feeling a little bit stir crazy and decided instead of moaning about it I'm going to document some of the fun stuff that Clark and I did this summer together. We have really done a lot of fun things and that was our goal this summer. We are lucky people.

Our summer began with us moving to North Salt Lake. Clark is an intern for Chevron in the public health and safety/industrial hygiene department. I am an extern (don't ask me what the difference is) for Wasatch Speech and Language Center. Our internships didn't start until the week after we moved so we decided we were going to take a trip to Disneyland. And that is where our fun began this summer. Here's my list of the adventures we have been able to do!

1- DISNEYLAND- This trip was so much fun. We began the trip by visiting my Aunt Kathy and her family in Overton, Nevada. We went to a May Fest where my cousins Ally, Sam and Gary performed. Then we left for Disneyland. We got to our hotel and went to the beach and Ruby's Diner. Day 2 we went to Disneyland. Day 3 was California Adventure. Day 4 was a mix of both and our favorite rides. Day 5 was the beach and the drive back home. We really worked the Fastpasses at the parks and got to go on everything we wanted to multiple times. It was a blast! Clark is so fun to hang out with so of course we had a great time.

We went to the beach when we got to Cali. We ate out on the pier at Ruby's Diner. Best Shakes Ever!

I had an epic fail with my traditional jumping picture and my hair-do.

We told everyone we were on our honeymoon!

Tower of Terror

We LOVED Cars Land! It is a real-life replica of the movie!

We were awesome at getting Fastpasses and working the system!

We were fans of the Monsters, Inc. Ride.

The detail of all the architecture and landscape is amazing!

Toy Story Midway Mania got pretty competitive. 

Clark loved the landscaping of Cars Land. It's like you are in a different world.

Everyone stared at Clark's GIANT ice cream cone that was as big as his head.

My ice cream cone was COVERED in sprinkles. It was a party in my mouth.

I REALLY loved the Ariel ride. Took me back to being 5 and watching Little Mermaid.

We saw an awesome Aladdin show on this stage. It was really fun. Here is an elephant from the show.

Clark's face on Splash Mountain is PRICELESS. We went 4 times. It was so much fun.

Paradise Pier at California Adventure is very magical.

This was the closest we got to a character sighting. We love Minnie.

We book-ended our trip with the beach and went and lounged right before we headed home.

2- An over-nighter in Park City- We used some of our hotel points and stayed in Park City. It consisted of a 10 mile run and eating fish at The Eating Establishment. Loved it.

3- State Track!- I got to go to state track and see my little sis Addie compete and her team take state! Addie did awesome. She got 7th in the long jump and 3rd in the 4x100. It was very fun to hang out with my family and Gran. We went to Krispy Kreme twice... both times it was Gran's idea and it was hilarious. I also gave Addie a garden gnome for a good luck present (long story) but it ended up being in all the pics and the team mascot for the trip. 

4- Bees Game- We got to go watch the Bees play. It was my first baseball game I've watched since I watched JD play. We ate sunflower seeds and the Bees lost they were dominated in the 7th inning. We didn't let the loss get to us. (You know I'm being sarcastic right? I would never care if the Bees lost really.)

5- Horseback Ride- I got Clark a groupon for Christmas and we finally redeemed it. We had an hour horseback ride. It was so beautiful and made us both want to own horses. Well... Clark has always wanted to own horses. 

6- Utah Valley Half Marathon- We ran the half in Provo with our cousins... Robbie and Grant. Clark came in about a minute before me. It is crazy how natural he is at running without having done it much previously. This is my 3rd half and Clark's 2nd.  The pictures are at the start line. We were absolutely freezing. After the marathon we hung out with Robbie, Katie and their sweet baby Lucy. We love hanging with the Jones'. 

The boys.

Rob being tall.

7- REAL game!- We went to our first Real game with Celeste, Brielle and Abbey. They were so much fun to go with. Celeste got way into it and it was very entertaining. It went into overtime (if that is what you call it in soccer?) and REAL won! Clark's favorite was the official REAL song that everyone sings. He sang it the rest of the night.

8- Tim McGraw- My Aunt Patti bought Clark and I tickets to the Tim concert and it was the best! I got to sing "Something Like That" with Tim and the rest of the concert attendees at the top of my lungs. I loved every minute. We watched the concert with McKayla, her friend Sam, Aunt Patti and Kat. Thanks Aunt Patti! We loved it!

9- Downatta with the Cooks- We went to Downatta Hot Springs with my family and enjoyed the slides and pool. We took books and a picnic and just relaxed. We had a great time especially when Brigham had to call me "Princess of Life Diva" (long story again). My family always shows us a fun time.

10- Houston- Clark went to a convention for all the interns for Chevron in Houston, Texas. He really enjoyed it and even had a driver that picked him up and took him everywhere. He is a working man and I really love that he takes advantage of all the opportunities that he can. He's the best. I was happy when he got back and wish I could have joined him.

11- 4th of July- On the 3rd we enjoyed the Logan fireworks with my family. Then on the 4th we went to the Lewiston Parade (which is one of my favorite things) and then we all napped all day and then went back to Lewiston to the dollar theater to watch EPIC. After Epic, Addie, Brig, Clark and I shot off the fireworks that Clark and I got. The 4th is my FAVORITE holiday. 

12- The Backpack- We went on a backpack trip with the Evans' (Scott, Matt, Brielle, Abbey, Cade and Ryan, Dave, Aspen, Bart and Rubie), Jones' (Mike, Rob and Grant) and Humphreys (Ray and Elliott) It was my first time ever doing something like this. We went to Hidden Lake in the Uintah Mountains. It was stunning up there. We hike about 4 miles in and then we fished and had fun at the campfire and enjoying the mountains. We loved it. It was a fun first. 

I caught my first fish! Grandpa Joe would be proud.

Clark is so manly in the mountains... and always. We had matching bandanas. 

13- Red Iguana + Lone Ranger + Rainbows- We got to go on a date with Dave and Aspen while they are home visiting from Oklahoma. Lone Ranger was such a fun movie and we always love us some Mexican food from Red Iguana and a Rainbow (slushie with ice cream mixed in) from Paces. 

14- Pineview Reservoir- Dave and Aspen invited us to go boating with them and their friends at Pineview. The water was extremely pleasant and we got to wakeboard and wake surf. I LOVE BOATING!!! Then we stayed at Aspen's parents and enjoyed their beautiful home in Mountain Green.

15- Raging Waters- We have a Pass of All Passes and have been able to go to Raging Waters multiple times and take Addie and Brig there too! We love the water slides. 

Can you see why I'm just a little stir crazy on this sick day. This will definitely be a summer to remember!!

Importance...

There is something about waking up in your childhood home on a summer morning. I was lucky enough to spend Father's Day in Clifton with my family. Monday morning I woke up and had some work to do for my thesis and I sat there in bed with my laptop, the windows open and the manure lilac air flowing in the window. Manure lilac air does not sound delightful but oh it is. I love the air in Clifton. People complain about the cow smell but that is home to me and I will always love it. So back to the story... I was sitting there in two different worlds. One world where I was the focused graduate student trying to figure out my data for my thesis; and the other where I was a child again waking up early to enjoy the summer morning and be part of my family. They are two completely different worlds and I found myself longing for/reminiscing about my childhood.

The longer I have lived out of my home the more I cherish it and the more I realize what the important things in life are. I realize these important things because I am striving everyday to create home that is like my parents, centered around the important things.

The following is a LIST of what my parents taught me to be of utmost importance:

1- The Savior: Jesus Christ is the center of my childhood home. When you pull up to this home you can see in the front window a picture of the Savior. I've always loved this about my house. I love it because you don't see a TV with the game playing, you see the Savior. I love that so much. I think of my house as a safe haven and who wouldn't feel safe when they pull up to the house and see a picture of the Savior. I hope that my future home can have a window in the front so I can send the message to my children and those coming in that this is a home where we love each other and we love the Savior and we are striving to be like Him. My family fights and quarrels and bickers and murmurs and has contention but at the end of the day when we kneel in prayer no matter what has transpired we (as children) do not doubt who our parents want our home to be centered around. The Savior and the gospel (with all that it entails) are extremely important.

2- Family Time: Cliche as it may sound, family is important. I don't remember a time in my life that I felt like my parents didn't have time for me or weren't there to support me. My parents wanted to be and were involved in EVERY detail of my life from what I needed to eat for breakfast to what extra curricular activity I was involved in, they care and they were there. I have seen my father rush from meetings and work to a basketball game for by sibling because he WANTS to be there. I have seen my mother stay up really really late ironing a dress so it will be ready for Jr. Miss. My dad tucked me throughout most of high school because I WANTED to be tucked in. It made me feel safe and loved. He probably thought I was a little ridiculous at times but he still did it for me. My mom talked to me at 6 am as I walked to the gym every morning my freshman year of college because I WANTED to talk to her. She didn't necessarily have time for that but she did it for me. Being there for your family and caring about their interests and needs is important.

3- Work: My parents insisted that I milk cows in middle school and my brother, I think, started in 5th or 6th grade. They wanted us to be able to know how important work was. They both had to help us get up at 4 o'clock on the mornings we milked. That wouldn't be an easy job as a parent but it was worth it to them because it taught us a valuable lesson. I remember my mom telling me that life is mostly work. It is. I am so glad that my parents taught me when I was young (even though I thought it was a little cruel) how to work. We never had an allowance. We never were given money for doing jobs for our parents because work is part of life. We had to pull our weight in our family and we had to earn money if we wanted extra money. Work teaches discipline and discipline is necessary to achieve goals and earn greater rewards. I'm so happy my parents taught me work is important.

4- Physical and Spiritual Health: I'm glad my parents taught me to be healthy. They never went on any crazy diets or were obsessed with working out but they taught me how to take care of my body and spirit. They taught me how to nourish my body, get enough sleep and create habits of exercise in my life. They also taught me that service, reading my scriptures, prayer, going to church/temple and loving others nourished my spirit. I learned that it is unhealthy to be addicted to ANYTHING and that being healthy is a lifestyle not a fad diet or crazy workout schedule. It is important to take care of the body and spirit our Heavenly Father gave us.

5- Education: My dad is going to be retired military soon and he has gotten a second degree in education and will teach math at Harold B. Lee Middle School. He got this degree while working full-time, being the Bishop of our ward and being a dad. It must have been important to him. He and my mom have always shown and stressed the importance of education and the merit it has in life. A persons quality of life increases when they are educated about the world around them and can contribute knowledge to it. Education is important.

6- Wholesome Recreation: My parents made sure that my life was filled with wholesome recreation. This included: playing a game together, watching March Madness or BYU football, jumping on the trampoline, going on walks, going swimming, creating traditions, going to Bear Lake with extended family, having dance parties while we washed the dishes etc. There was a whole lot of wholesome recreation happening in the home. It is important.

7- Nice: It is nice to be important but it is more important to be nice. I was raised by kind parents. They helped me forgive and be forgiven. It is so important to be nice because everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. Enough said!

I could write more and more but for starters this is what I want to be of utmost importance in my home. I will be forever grateful I was raised by two loving parents who created a home where I always felt comfortable and could strive to become better everyday. Thanks M and D. Love you!